I don't even know where to start right now. I am an adult woman, but if anyone had overheard the conversation that I had with my husband this morning, they would have thought that he was speaking to a child. Why does he think that he can tell me how to spend my free time? He would like to plan my schedule around his wants and needs. I'm so sick of it. I woke up at 5:30 this morning. I wrote and worked on my poetry website and for most of that time the rest of the family, including him, was still asleep. It is as if anything that I do just for me doesn't count. I should have been doing laundry, or cleaning, or any of the other hundreds of things that need to be done around here. I have been trying to balance my time so that no one feels slighted, but no matter what, it is never good enough. I'm just so frustrated right now, and so tired of feeling like I have no control over my own life.

It has already been an emotional day for me. There is a girl here in Kansas that was ubducted on Saturday, and they just found her body. I turned on the television this morning and there it was on the news. The man that killed her has been caught and he lived right here in my own community. She was taken at the same Target store that I often go to. It just hit so close to home and really upset me. A young vibrant girl with her whole life ahead of her, just stolen and discarded in a lake. It is hard to make sense of it. My heart just breaks for her family. Tears already shed today.Sometimes this world is a scary place. I need to do something to distract myself from all of my fears, so I think I will take a nice long walk. It is so windy here today, but I'm going anyway. I need to get rid of some of this sadness and anger that is inside of me. I also just bought the new Tori Amos, and Corinne Bailey Rae, so I have some new tunes to listen to. I'm off to walk in the wind.

A sleepless night again. I'm a once or twice a week insomniac. It drives my husband crazy! I can't just lie in bed if I'm not going to fall asleep. My mind just goes too crazy if I do that. Have you ever closed your eyes and felt like everything you ever did in your life was put on fast forward? That is what my head does when I can't sleep! 

I have a busy day planned with my boys. I have decided to let them each pick out a color to paint their bedrooms, and then let the painting begin! Should prove to be fun and interesting to say the least. Black is OFF LIMITS though. Thankfully my 16 yr old seems to be ending his emo/goth phase. Black was his world for awhile. Hair dyed jet black, beautiful curls ironed into stick straight submission. I kept my mouth shut. Not a battle that I'm going to pick, but I'm happy that it has run it's course! I also have a 14 yr old, an 11 yr old, and a 10 yr old. All boys, all the time!  I'm learning things about boys that I don't even WANT to know. I have 3 nieces, so I can get my girl fix with them! 

This evening I am meeting up with an old friend from high school that I haven't seen since we graduated 20 yrs ago!  Time just speeds by, doesn't it? I'm really looking forward to seeing her and catching up. Well, that's my plan. It looks like it is going to be a beautiful day:)

All that I can say is cinnamon in my coffee on an early Sunday morning, Yum! I'm up early for no particular reason. I love the feeling of having the whole day stretched out before me. Oh, the possibilities! Husband and children are still snoozing in their beds, and the dog at my feet, as hopeful as I am. What to do, what to do... I'm thinking that I will surprise the boys with do-nuts this morning. Of course that will mean sugar and sugar means four wild boys running through my house, but what the hell! I'll be the best mom in the world for a few hours!